I am not just my words...
I do more than you!
... feed the kids
... clean the house
... cook
... bring in more money
... spend more time with the kids
but you
you get to spend time with your friends
you get more space
You! You! You!
Who am I? What am i? I am losing me!
I want me back!
Marriage means there is now 2 of you. You can no longer do anything unless you check in first. You now have a partner that needs to be in the know: otherwise you won't hear the last of it. Sometimes it is not even about getting permission but about informing in advance about what is going to happen to "us". Because whatever that we do will subsequently affect our partner. My husband did not want to do his cataract surgery because, as he said it, it is his money and his eyes! So i have no say. Yeah, right. You can't see me from a distance and i worry about you tripping over that rock.
What you are saying is not what i am hearing. I am hearing that you are disrespecting my concern about you. What you are hearing is that i am disrespecting your self autonomy.
So me comparing my effort vs your effort in holding this family together is not about you not doing your part and i am the martyr, but it is about "i need you and i need your support".
So what can i do to make this better for you... and for us?
Comments